There is a secretary in the firm who is selling her wares. Her wares are these homemade lunar new year cookies that are really, well, very homemade indeed. They are being sold at a very homely price of S$16 per recycled coffee powder jar. Pieces of homely joy in a recycled coffee powder jar.

Homely secretary then proceeds to email spam everyone repeatedly with her homeliness and all the wholesome goodness that entails.

Whoever said the office wasn't homely?

Friend: blah blah blah

Me: You actually have common sense.

Friend: Can you stop constructing sentences in that way.

Me: Surprisingly, you have common sense!

* * *

Well sadly, I can't say that everyone has common sense.


Like the counterparty who marked up comments on my blackline document using a combination of track changes, blackline colours and in black. I saved the document as "no integrity".

Thank you for your email.

I am away from the office and will be returning on Monday, 5 January 2009.

Please contact me on my mobile at **** **** for urgent enquiries.

Have a Happy New Year.

* * *

The above is called an out of office message. Which is a polite way of saying I am not around and please don't call me. You aren't actually supposed to call the number. They should teach these things in school.

We get a lot of irrelevant administrative emails.

Friend (who proceeds to forward me said irrelevant administrative emails): Is this the sender you have an auto delete rule for?

Me: Yes. The same rule applies to you too. But don't worry, I check my deleted items folder occasionally.

Friend: B****