So envious! A travel calendar just appeared in X’s folder…she’s going for 3 wks.

And the partners have redlined it.

Return on 13 April AS FAST AS POSSIBLE

A: My pupilmaster has tasked me to do due diligence ("DD"). It sounds slightly exciting, the Managing Partner is involved [in the project]!

B: If the Managing Partner is involved, it's not called DD. It's called AD.
ABSOLUTE DILIGENCE.

Overheard:

A: Z is so incompetent, did he get a second upper honours?

B: Yes, from Nottingham University.

A: In what? Archery and merry making?

When you are in Financial services...

A: Hey want to go diving?

B: Sure! How about Cayman Islands?

A's email: We have a lot of food outside the boardroom. Pls help yourselves.

B's email to C, D and E: FOOD ALERT!

C's email: Can someone suss out the quality?

D's email: Why is there food. Let's send someone to grab it and distribute it NOW

E's email: I just came back from a lovely lunch...but I might pop around to
investigate this situation.

In the news.

A bikini model has been cleared of wrecking her ex-boyfriend's apartment after the court held that her chest was sufficiently large to preclude her from crawling in through a hole in the door. "I used to hate my body" said Serena Kozakura, "but it was my breasts that won in court".

Somewhere in Singapore, Mas Selamat, a terrorist, escapes from his detention facility.

Meanwhile, in an office somewhere else in Singapore...

A: "Hey I hear the team lunch is going to be Indonesian."

B: "NO! The [No. 2 Boss is buying] lunch so HOW can it be Indonesian??"

A: "Indonesian can be atas* too what."

B: "The most atas it gets is going to be…what, House of Sundanese?"

A: "Oh shit, cannot whack** already!"

C: "I hear it’s going to be at the Rice Table. Cos it’s owned by [anonymous partner's] friend."

A: "Oh no, damn cheapo! How can [anonymous partner] arrange this? She herself doesn’t even eat anywhere with less than 4.5 stars of atasness!"

B: "Ok, I will do EVERYTHING in my power to stop this. You, go and book up the whole of Rice Table. Every single branch! For a corporate function or wedding I don’t care.
And you, go and pretend to have food poisoning.
Somebody also tell her that we can’t eat Indonesian cos that’s probably where Mas Selamat would go for lunch."



*atas - high class
** whack - chalk up an exorbitant sum