I was hired to teach GP to a student whose exam is in 10 days.

Me: How did you do for Prelims?

Student: Very good.

Me: Oh. A2?

Student: No. I got 48.

Me: How is that good?

Student: Good enough to sign on police.

Me: Policemen also need to write reports. So you still need good English!

[after going through his work]

Me: And I don't think you'll be able to fire guns well as a policeman if your writing is anything to go by. Everything off target.

A good break from the monotony of work on a Monday morning: Read this.

And check out the slideshow too!

Friend: Hey, I know you're always very resourceful so here goes: you got any useful precedents for com prac assignment?

If I just WRITE my Memorandum of Understanding, it's going to be pulling clauses out of my ass again. And we all know how well that goes.

I would like to invite everyone to join the Lord Denning (M.R.) Appreciation Society Group on Facebook. It's priceless stuff.

The following comments were posted on the group page:

1. "He did not have the nice Swiss cakes which he was hoping for. The only cakes for tea were potato crisps and little dry nut cakes." Jarvis v. Swans Tours Ltd. [1973] Q.B. 233 (C.A.)"

2. Oh, what the hey, one for the road...

"Broadchalke is one of the most pleasing villages in England. Old Herbert Bundy, the defendant, was a farmer there. His home was at Yew Tree Farm. It went back for 300 years. His family had been there for generations. It was his only asset. But he did a very foolish thing. He mortgaged it to the bank."
- Lloyds Bank v. Bundy [1973] 3 All ER 757

3. [Denning] gave a dinner speech at an Australian law school. Just as he was about to begin someone threw a dinner roll across the hall. And his opening line was: "Ah, a fitting welcome for the Master of the Rolls."

4. My contract exam is in an hour. Can anyone tell me what is estoppel?

5. Favourite quote: "In summertime village cricket is the delight of everyone. Nearly every village has its own cricket field where the young men play and the old men watch. In the village of Lintz in County Durham they have their own ground, where they have played these last 70 years. They tend it well. The wicket area is well rolled and mown. The outfield is kept short . . . [y]et now after these 70 years a judge of the High Court has ordered that they must not play there anymore . . . [h]e has done it at the instance of a newcomer who is no lover of cricket.
This newcomer has built . . . a house on the edge of the cricket ground which four years ago was a field where cattle grazed. The animals did not mind the cricket."

6. If everyone wrote like Denning I'd still be a lawyer...Jarvis v Swans Tours forever.

Some random acquaintance asked me about the graduate law degree program at NUS.

A: Would I benefit from the ministry of education tuition subsidy since this would be my second degree?

Me: I'm not sure, I can check.

A: Please do.

Me, 10 minutes later: Ok I've checked, yes you will. The subsidy is available for law as a second degree, since it falls under a special exception to the general rule that the subsidy is only available to Singaporeans pursuing their first degree.

A: Oh ok, that's what I read on the website lalala.

Me: If that's what you read, why the hell did you ask me?

A: Can you tell me how's law school work like?

Me: It involves reading materials, and using common sense to make sense of them. You should consider very carefully before applying.

I have a very earnest conveyancing tutor whom my friend calls "kindergarten-like" in the sense of " Oh look! A bird! HAPPY!"

I think she has very good comic timing.

Yesterday, she asked us very earnestly:

"So, which of you are going to open your own law firm?"

And without missing a beat:

"and which of you are going to open a chocolate shop?"

Then she laughed insanely.

There have been three official amendments to the commercial practice assignment question.

The third (and most recent) amendment was "please note that para 5 should read BOTH MEMORANDUMS and not memorandum."

* * *

May I pre-empt the fourth change: It should be both fucking memoranda and not memorandums.

Me: Hey what's this pre trial thing for the practical law course we are supposed to do?

Senior: Oh it's nothing. Just ensure you have a pre-pretrial discussion with the opposing counsel. You will be ok.

Received this in the mail today:

Dear Students

Please note the following changes:

COMMERCIAL PRACTICE CASE-STUDY

On Page 3, Part B, “The principle agreements that has to be
drafted.” should read “The principle agreements that have to be
drafted.”

and

“Discuss the various points at which announcements has to be
issued by Company A to SGX.” should read “Discuss the various
points at which announcements have to be issued by Company
A to SGX.”

* * *

Unfortunately there are so many more grammatical errors that the board has yet to identify. (*^%!

Discussing careers...

Friend: Maybe I want to quit law and be a facilitator in a polytechnic! Teach 2 days a week, earn $3,500 a month!

Me: Then why on earth did you get a law degree to begin with! You could have gotten some 3 year easy qualification.

Friend: I want something slack. Don't need to use brains. Maybe an art teacher!

Me: You still need to use your brains and be creative.

Friend: There are only so many ways to draw a tree.

Having run out of blogs to read, I decided to read law firm websites. They are quite puzzling.

Take for example law firm X, which actually puts up profiles of everyone from the Managing partner to paralegals.

Paralegal Y's profile was:

Y’s main areas of experience are in commercial and property transactions, commercial litigation and workplace relations. Y has extensive experience in the property sales and purchases ... Y enjoys spending time with his family, team sports and eating (including durian).

* * *

Eating (including durian) ?!?!

* * *

Paralegal Z's profile was:

Prior to joining [the firm], Z was working as an in-house counsel in a listed company in Singapore. He has also worked in the civil service, a foreign bank as well as non-governmental organizations handling consumers’ matters as well as manpower issues.

It has been a great time working in this firm since the day I joined. Although this is the first time that I am working in a law firm, the Directors and the Associates are always there to offer their support and guidance. The staff are also very helpful whenever I approach them.

All in all, it has been a very enjoyable and meaningful time for me working in this firm.

* * *

Yes, all that was on paralegal Z's 'profile,' unfortunately.

Friend: I'm going to sleep.

Me: So early? You sound unwell.

Friend: How can I be well when they pay us peanuts [during PLC]? I lack the vitamins of a caviar and premium sushi diet.

Me: Are we supposed to rely on common sense to do Professional Responsibility questions? Cos that's what I've been doing.

Senior: Technically yes, though in your case maybe you shouldn't rely on that.