I woke up this morning to several missed calls, SMSes and MSN messages. Turns out there was a general, royal panic concerning this exercise called Criminal Case Procedure Management, where we were given a hypothetical situation and were told to prepare the relevant documents "as we thought fit" and hand them in.

I contemplated writing a letter to the effect that " Dear XXX, we regret to inform you that we will not be accepting instructions on this matter."

Alex suggested the following:

"Dear Mr. XXXX Thank you for employing our services. But as you know, I am in corporate, and we only serve listed CORPORATE persons with the capacity to pay our rates.

As for rape, your son did go to St. James Power Station, and that as far as I am concerned is the hangout of riffraff. By socialising with these afore-mentioned riffraff, I am afraid your son should submit to the consequences that follow.

This letter will cost you $6,420 (GST 7%) Please pay by cash or cheque made payable to XXXXXX."