In addition to giving law tuition, I give English tuition to this secondary 2 Hwa Chong Institution kid. I was trying to explain to him what metaphors were and the idea of underlying meaning.

Me: When I say "she is a table," what do I mean?

Him: She is flat.

Me: . . .

Me, continuing: No, that means she is as insignificant as a piece of furniture.

(For the record, I did tell him not to use that on girlfriends. Or anyone else for that matter)