I really can't stand The Dance Floor commentary.

Full Circle.

I got my last university assignment back yesterday.

I saw young kids going for the law interview.

I need to return my mailbox key.

Friend (whose exams are over): YES! I'm a law graduate.

Me: Yeah yeah, I'm still a bloody student.

Friend: Can you update your blog? It's still the "STOP POKING ME ENTRY." I've seen it on my screen 10 times.

Me: How can you have seen it 10 times. I just wrote that today!

Friend: Yes. I refuse to believe my rss is working. How can not a single soul update their blogs!

CAN PEOPLE STOP POKING ME ON FACEBOOK.

Btw what's poke for?

5pm.

Me: I'm LOGGING OFF MSN to study.

1opm, I log on.

Friend, instantaneously: YOU'RE ON MSN!

Me: Shuddup lah. 5 min only. I came online to wish people good luck for exams tomorrow. And read blogs.

Friend: noble cause!

I was sending the sister somewhere and the radio was set to perfect 10. Some dumb pop song was playing.

Sister: I bet you don't know who sang this.

Me: Sounds like Britney Spears.

Sister: (in a tone that says i'm damn stupid): Britney spears is in REHAB.

Me: who cares.

Me: Do you watch Heroes?

Student: No.

Me: Nevermind. You're as cool as this character in that TV show. You can TELEPORT! See! In one sentence you can change the tense four times! past-future-present-past.

Student: . . .

The English tuition student wrote: ... and I turned off the lights...

Me: It should be switched off the lights.

Student: can it be put out the lights?

Me: Yes, if you are King Arthur and putting out the candle chandelier above the Round Table. For modern switches like the ones you have in this room, how do you put out the lights? Go to your main circuit board and short-circuit it?

Criminal law tuition session:

Student: the defender... the defender... the defender...

Me: Brudder, you think soccer ah, WHAT DEFENDER. It's either the accused or the defenDANT.

* * *

Discussing a criminal law hypothetical question...

Student: causation is the mother poisoned... causation is the defender.

Me: Do you find this really difficult? Because if you do, you may want to take some time to improve your English before resuming law studies.

Me: Bumped into the professor. The professor said the exam paper is fine.

Friend: Fine?

Me: Yeah, like we can definitely do it.

Friend: Of course we can 'do' the paper. We can even do it like shit and get an F.

[Intro]
Ladies and fuckin gentlemen (Whassup)
It's the kings of fuckin crunk (You know it)
Me, your boy Lil Jon, Lil Bo, Big Sam
On the motherfuckin track, Rick Rubin (Yeah)
I don't think y'all ready for this shit (y'all ain't ready nigga)
Nothin but some real gangsta shit (gangsta shit)
For them niggaz and bitches out there (Yeah)
Now I'm havin a hard fuckin life right now (a hard life)
And I'm gunna give y'all some of my fuckin pain

[Hook - 2X]
Why you fuckin wit me?
Stop fuckin wit me!
Don't be fuckin wit me!
Stop fuckin wit me!

* * *
English Tuition student: I don't understand.

Me: Actually I intended to pass you a CD with more wholesome songs. But it's ok. Consider this cultural immersion. This song tells a story about the frustration of gangsters in the States. Notice how they keep repeating fuck this fuck that. This is exactly how people who don't study English properly end up. They can't find proper words to express themselves so they use fuck as a verb, noun, pronoun, adverb, and even punctuation. Oh yeah, fuck is a bad word by the way.

Host: "What was the toughest moment for you?"

"The Dance Floor" Contestant: "there are many tough moments..."

* * *
I switched off the TV right away. SPAM. On state TV no less.

Sometimes I give my English tuition students CDs of songs for them to figure out the lyrics and explain them to me.

Me: How was the song? Managed to figure it out?

Student: what's the meaning of "if you fuck with my grip I won't hesitate to let off a clip."

Me: WHAT?

And then I realise I passed him the wrong cd. The intended song was "I don't want to be" by Gavin DeGraw.

I can't believe the kid insisted I explain the unintended song to him. And I can't believe I did despite the parental advisory label.

A friend recommended me a blog for its hilarious Singlish (terrible English). It belongs to a make up artist.

Quote no 1:

"better dun step into fashion sow line if not u going to feel the pain hurt & sadness I'm feeling now is not good"

Quote no 2:

"Early afternoon I help sweetie Clara's bf younger sister do makeup ya is her porn night tonite wor Thanks for her support lah.."

* * *

For a moment, I really thought it was porn night, until the friend pointedly remarked that the blogger meant PROM night.

Exam strategy:

Friend: Eating helps.

Me to sleep.

Eye drops. Check.

Panadol. Check.

Cold showers. Check.

Throwaway bed. Check.

Throwaway XBox. Check.

Metal cuffs and chain to chain myself to the table. Check.

Key to metal cuffs thrown away. Check.

Delete MSN and blogger. Unchecked.

I received these by email from people I nod Hi- bye to in school:

1. Dear H,

This is xx. All the papers are done today, right? Congratulations to each other! The next thing is to prepare for the formal exam.Have you started to review the course? Do you keep the notes in that course?

Best regards,
xx
China Exchange student.

2. (No Dear H, no Hi, no nothing)

Could you send ower your banking notes today. I'm sorry if you interpreting this as too demanding but I think that I really need them. Otherwise if we don't see each other before the exam I wish you good luck with the preparation.

Z, Another Exchange student.

* * *

Reader participation:

• Sushi Tei Lunch in Singapore is on me for the person who comes up with the best reply to the above emails.
  
• You may submit replies via the comments function (recommended) or my email if you have it. (not so recommended).
  
• Lunch claimable after exams end DUH (May 3rd), but before pupillage starts (June 1st)
  
• Anyone can participate. You can be a blog stalker, a stranger, a friend, anyone. Just remember to leave a name or alias.
• Closing date: 19th April, 2359 hours.
  
• Best reply will be announced on 20th April, (one week from now).
  
• It is suggested that you come up with a reply first before reading what others have posted in the comments. Unoriginal replies will not qualify.
  

Ok I lied. There's going to be more blogging after all.

Bongs read the comments in my post on ass cracks and the following conversation ensued:

Bongs: What's KNNCCB?

Me: It means, (and I am diluting the vulgarity of it heavily here) F**king C**t

Bongs: I see. Heheh. Can I see xx's blog?

Me: It's locked.

Bongs: KNNCCB!

...we were talking about other things... 5 min elapses..

Me: K, study time for me.

Bongs: k..cnnkkb...err...bbckkcnn... CNNBBC!

I'm dead for exams. I have 20 credits of exams. First exam in 10 days. Amount of studying done: zero. No more blogging until May 3rd.

I went to some cafe at Jalan Kayu for supper last night. I won't go there again. The only wait staff I saw kept flashing customers with her ass crack. It's not good to flash people if you're not hot, and worse still if you have a pimply ass. I couldn't eat my fish and chips with the pimply ass roaming around the place. Pimply ass: ketchup sir?

My friend, who goes by the alias BONGs, has invited the entire ICF team to visit him here for callbreak 2008. I am thoroughly thrilled! This is going to be the best reunion ever.

This post should be titled "Inane Law School Conversations"

Conversation 1:

Me: Hey I happened to notice my blog has hits from xxx law firm! (a firm in Singapore known for its mugger crowd, and where my friend is going.)

Friend 1: Yay! Can read blogs next time! Can watch you tube video also?

* * *

Conversation 2:

Friend 2: Should I take down Hanson's picture on my blog? It spoils the aesthetic value of my blog.

Me: Aesthetic Value !?!

Friend 2: Yes. The other pictures are quite nice!

Me: Right. Quite nice. Quite arty. Like museum.

I just bought a highly acclaimed energizer program to keep me energized throughout this exam revision period. There's just one problem - it's supposed to energize me by causing me to fall asleep faster and sleep more. It gets dumber. The record I tried plays a mixture of sounds like waves on a beach, and some voice thing that says relax your mind, relax this relax that.. and then it gets softer and softer AND THEN MY MIND starts focussing and trying to figure out what the hell the soft words are and I can't relax and the time I ought to be spent studying is wasted. And then the voice says forget everything else, forget forget forget and then there are bird noises and then I start thinking about the feasibility of spotting questions and studying 50% of the entire workload. And then I think if I listen to this anymore I'll be examining the feasibility of studying 30% of the entire workload. Or less.

I'm disappointed with myself. The last university class of my life and I couldn't understand what was going on. We had Eminem as a guest lecturer again. He was not only incomprehensible but wrote some stuff on the board that might have been him signing his autograph repeatedly. I really don't know. And then we had the excessively over enthusiastic China-Dido-wannabes who tried to outrap him.

After 3 hours of me explaining I R A C as the way to structure an answer to a hypothetical (see previous post), the law tuition student wrote an answer to a hypothetical for me. He treated the hypo like a secondary school " write a short story beginning with the following sentence(s)." His answer CONTINUED THE STORY from the hypothetical fact pattern, introducing new characters and stuff. And the worst thing? His story sucked.

An excerpt of his answer from a hypo on offer and acceptance involving parties A, B, C, D:

" The next day, A, the offeror mets an old man at coffee shop... "

After an hour of me explaining to the tuition student how to approach hypothetical questions, complete with a full sample answer written by me:

Me : I repeat again. For hypothetical questions, you need to deal with the Issue, Rule, Application and Conclusion. You repeat this for every single legal issue in the question until there are no more legal issues. Like the example I just wrote. Now, what is the first thing you need to deal with in this hypothetical question?

3 minutes elapses...

Student: I thinking.

Me: Think faster.

Student: I don't know where to write.

Me: Brudder, write on paper. Where you want to write?

Student: I need to absorb.

Me: Frog! The first thing is the issue. The approach is issue, rule, application, conclusion. It's like being a factory worker you know. You go to a factory and you are told to press buttons I R A C repeatedly. So you press I R A C press I R A C press press press press press press until you cannot press anymore. Then you go home. What's so difficult?

I'm in class making intelligent talk with the professor and the next thing I know I'm not making sense and trying hard to keep a straight face. Here's why:

Over MSN:

C: omg there's this girl in the lib
this big, tall, and not-skinny indian girl
tottering about on gold strappy heels
and she's wearing a sheer green top belted at the hips
and no pants
NO PANTS
it's like she forgot to put on some pants!
and the damn top is SHEER

Me: put on BLOG!
say u are a freelance reporter for URBAN
and you take wanna take photos for the HOT BODs section
cos you doing a back to school special!

C: I could almost see her ass!
And I can't go take her picture. I was staring at her for so long!

Me: You can! You look like Sumiko Tan. You got the reporter look!

C: I can't. I do NOT look like Sumiko Tan. And she's frightening. It's like my eyes were raped by the sight of her arse.

Me: . . .

C: I'm at 564 out of a 2000 word paper. And all I can think of is not duty of care of banks but duty of care for indian girl to put pants on. Okay you know what. i am going upstairs to see if i can get a good shot.

C: Back. She's sitting down. Her friends are blocking me.

* * *
+ edit + see comments.

There's this auditor in my banking law class. An auditor is someone from outside law school who pays 900 bucks to sit in on one module to learn something. I don't know why anyone would pay 900 bucks when all they have to do is dress up like a student and crash the lectures. I've seen that happen before.

Anyway this auditor never talks.

Student A: He looks like he doesn't speak English.

Student B: Yeah.

At this point in time. the auditor speaks (crap)!

Student A: HE IS AN IN HOUSE COUNSEL?

Student B: Yeah, with what? POSB probably.

Some professors who've never been in practice habitually brandish the words "in legal practice" around, and then launch into theories of theories of yet more theories of law.

On the receiving end, the feeling is like being strapped against your will onto an Event-Horizon-esque rocket and then being blasted into la la land.

That's why I never understood why people would pay a couple of million bucks to get jetted into space as a space tourist. I get to experience the spaced out feeling everyday at a fraction of the price they pay. Damn, I'm one lucky dog.

I attended a really good talk on legal career options in London and New York.

On why the speaker chose to practise law in the US:

So my son can escape NS. And fight in Iraq.

On how well known Singapore is in London and New York:

Most people think we're a part of China. That's unfortunate, since we're a part of Malaysia.

I marvel at the sustainability of some conversations I overhear. Like the discussion on how long to charge a laptop for, along the lines of: I think the best is 4 hours/ No my boyfriend says 3 hours!/ No no the best...

Guest lecturer: "you wud you wud you wud make the make the offer offer offer.."

Friend: He sounds like Eminem.

A :) long :) overdue :) happy :) entry :)

You may throw up from the excess smiley faces now.

There, better?

The happy event: A friend I ghosted a couple of essays for a while back got both the scholarship and acceptance into MIT.

A friend just told me about a mutual classmate of ours.

Him: She introduced herself as Wings.

Me: Seriously.

Him: Yes, she said, 'I'm Wings, wabliu... eye... en... gee... ess!'

The brother was telling me that he has a friend in camp who talks in his sleep every night.

His friend shouts "WAKE UP!" while asleep.

Went to Dan Ryan's for dinner.

Waitress: For your dessert, would you like vanilla or ice cream?

The student with the fa chai gong dog wrote me an essay.

Me: "I really enjoyed reading this. It is so funny! Too bad you're not writing for comics though."

After 1 hour of me explaining offer and acceptance, my student says:

"I see the logic! Offeror gives offer then accepts it"

After 1 hour of me explaining and repeating that for hypothetical questions, one needs to go through the issue, rule, application and conclusion, my student says:

" Issue not important."

After 2 lessons of explaining when to add "s" to indicate plural, my student now adds "s" to everything.

Our guest lecturer, who works with legal compliance at JP Morgan Chase asked: How much money do you think my bank (JP Morgan Chase) transacts a day, is it the m number, the b number, or the t number?

Student: What is m number, b number, t number?

Guest Lecturer: M is meellion, B is beeeellion, t is triiiilllion.

Student presentations are quite interesting. This semester alone, we've had the poised and elegant, the marshmallow, the funeral service attendant, the mistake, and most recently, the one with the perfected "come let's make out right after this", replete with auto blinking (un)seductive eyes, flirtatious flicks of the hair, and a well honed fake accent.

I'm a happy camper. Fitness First has just opened a large outlet at AMK Hub, which means I don't have to commute to the city just for exercise.

It also means I get to see lots of interesting things, like this bizarre fat dude who was doing a workout in business attire and had to be escorted out of the place by staff. By business attire, think long-sleeved white shirt bursting at seams (from fats), business slacks also bursting at seams (from fats), and leather dress shoes. By workout, think lifting a 1kg weight (the lightest possible) and making enough noise (grunts and the like) to drown out the rather loud hip hop shit they were playing.

Maybe he isn't that bizarre, compared to this woman I saw once at the Fitness First outlet at One George Street, at 7 am in the morning, eating an ice cream while on the treadmill. I believe it was a Cornetto.

My team presented today, against another team. The professor told us "you guys were closer to what I wanted than the other Team, which issue spammed."

Another team presented, and the professor was speechless. The team talked about " In copulation costs."

I think they meant incorporation costs.

A friend told me her tuition kid covers her ears and screams " YUCK! YUCK! YUCK!" when she tries to teach the kid the sex ed component of primary five science.

I wonder who is worse off, my friend or me.

My tuition kid with the fa chai gong dog makes loud noises that are akin to someone having difficulty throwing up. And this happens regardless of whether I teach him anything or not.

Today was tuition pay day. I feel richer. The parent asked me for a progress report. In Chinese.

Literally translated:

I said: I have started teaching your son essay writing. His thoughts and writing style are very ... how should I put it?

The parent: simple and good?

Me: Actually I meant immature.

Me (quickly): but of course I'm confident that he will write much better in due course.

Now, I wonder what I will say when the parents of the kid with the fa chai gong dog ask me for a progress report.

On assignment writing:

Me: I feel like Captain Jack Sparrow battling the Cracker, slashing off all these tentacles of problematic arguments.

Friend: Wow, if your assignment gets A that's like getting the girl and eating sotong.*

*For foreign readers: Sotong = squid / calamari

Corporate Insolvency Law Prof, rhetorically: What would banks think if the receiver they appoint, who is supposed to act for them and realise their security, turns around and sues them instead?

Student: They would think he has integrity.

Corporate Insolvency Law Prof: Integrity. Right. Next time you eat and drink integrity.

L.Q.R. is the abbreviation for Law Quarterly Review.

Heard in class: "learned quarterly reveal."

An excerpt from the Dean's talk on the future of legal education: "I am confident that we are a globally recognised law school. In fact, I'm afraid of going to China because everywhere I go people want to collaborate with us."

I have a classmate named Mr Adodo. Mr Adodo is a model student. Mr Adodo likes to participate in class. Mr Adodo is his real name.

Student A: Hey doesn't Adodo sound like some extinct bird?

Student B: I think that's the Dodo.

Student A: He speaks funny.

Student B: Yeah different species probably. I wonder what bird watchers have to say about that.

Some student asked the prof in corporate insolvency law class today: Professor, regarding the assignment, should it be descriptive or argumentative?

Another student replied before the prof could: No no no, it should be NARRATIVE. One day, a company wanted to enter into insolvency...

I met the new student. But let's talk about his place first. It is quite something. In a bizzare way. The house is filled with big statues of Chinese figures, and even bigger Chinese lanterns. Think big red pineapple lanterns with plastic green leaves suspended all over the place. It was like being in a alice-in-chinese-wonderland pineapple plantation where the pineapples flew in the sky instead of growing on the ground. The dog was dressed up to look like a statue called " fa chai gong" which I think when translated literally means "strike rich divine-being." You get the picture.

The student is odd. He would do well being a character in star wars, maybe as an alien drone. He makes really strange guttural noises which I couldn't really decipher. His English, thankfully, is not as bad as I had expected. At least he managed to score 20/100 in his exam.

I had some feedback which said I was cynical and sarcastic on this blog where I say things as they are. So I was thinking of starting a positive blog where I say things as they aren't.

On this new blog, I would write beaming things, like

"Today :) was :) another :) great :) day :)"

I meant beaming in the literal sense.

Whoops, forgot the exclamation marks. Let's try again.

"Today :) was :) another :) great :) day :) !!!!"

Alternatively, as an extension of my positive outlook, I could write in a pscyho-I'm-six-years-old font. Like this:

"ToDaY :) wAs :) AnOtHeR :) gReAt :) ... "

My point is unless you're a six year old kid, you don't enthuse about happy events everyday, and everything you see or hear tends to be processed and evaluated. Rest assured I will update merry events as and when they occur.

Meanwhile stay positive. Have some kokain. Click play on the right.

Overheard after a group presentation today:

" I think we did quite well, except that I forgot to POR*."

*POR = suck up.

You get to hear the strangest things in international corporate finance class presentations.

To the question: what financing option would you recommend?

The answer by several foreign students: BONGS!

(I'm not sure if there is such an instrument in their country, or if they were referring to bonds.)

I was doing some research about a possible trip to Yemen when I came across this post in a travel forum:

"Safety: No thiefs, I forgot a camera in a very basic restaurant and it was brouted back. If you are kidnaped you'll still a guest, so no worry be happy."

Some girl sent me a smile on friendster. She's 24 years old. We exchanged MSNs. We had one MSN conversation. She's in dire need of a boyfriend. She cannot sustain a proper conversation. I said I was married.

At 1045 am, Monday:

"Dear student,

Due to a mistake, the assignment was not distributed on Saturday. My apologies. I will upload it by 2pm today."

At 230 pm, Monday:

"Dear Prof,

I still can't find the assignment question anywhere. Please advise."

I was supposed to do a take home 30% insolvency law paper today. Except that I can't, because somehow the professor has not released the question. And he didn't reply to my email either, sent some hours ago. The email was:

"Hey prof, Is there still an assignment for this module?"

I've been trying to hint to my law tuition student that maybe he shouldn't be doing law. But he doesn't seem to get it.

Some of the hints I've given (in order of increasing obviousness):

• Do you have any other dreams of what you want to be?
  
• You have grammatical problems, which might be tolerable if you were still somewhat understandable. But you have so many errors I can't tell if you're writing English or not.
  
• Some things are not meant to be.
  

Another week, another out of this world tuition experience.

Me: Can you write an answer to this essay question? "The Human Rights Act effectively brought human rights home. Discuss"

Student: Answer the question.

Me: Yes, please answer the question.

Student: With logic?

* * *

And he can't remember to add "s" behind words to indicate plural again.

And he wrote a paragraph that almost made me say WTF out loud.

The law school celebrates 50 years of education this year and the Dean is due to give a talk on the future of legal education. His talks are good and I would recommend them to anyone. But it's just a talk. If I were the Dean of my law school, I would implement the following:

• Reduce the entire law degree to 2 years.
  
• Reduce compulsory subjects to contract law, tort law, property law, equity and trusts, and legal writing and analysis, all taught in the first year.
  
• Empower students with the choice to specialise immediately after the first year. They will have a choice of
  
• litigation based subjects, like evidence, criminal law
• corporate based subjects, like international corporate finance.
• Airy fairy subjects, like something in vietnam, theory of the theory of law, etc.
  
• Scrap the whole idea of continuous assessment.
  
• Revamp exams. Out of all the subjects taken in two years, students shall have the option to pick three to be examined on, or pick two, and do one research paper.
  
• Issue 50% of the cohort with first class honours upon graduation.
  
• Charge four years worth of school fees for two years.
  

Can't blame the students from China for trying to speak up in class.

Can't blame me for laughing out loud when one of them said

"So faeces cated eeenvestor."

(which is "sophisticated investor," just in case you were wondering.)

I am in the com lab trying to do constructive work. Across me there's this girl who looks like she... well nevermind. And she is reading over a guy's shoulder. And she keeps pushing her hair behind her ears. And fondling it.

And she says: are you hungry?
He says: No, are YOU hungry?

And then she says: oh there is a general power and a special power.
And he says: so much power!

And then someone says in a friendly tone: maybe you should focus on reading your equity A textbook.

And that someone wanted to add but didn't: And YOU can stop pretending to be Rapunzel.

(I just realised the first half of this post could be construed in an 'alternative' sense. It was unintended.)

Prof: So what is the rationale of Judicial management?
Student A (excitedly): To give the company breathing space!

10 seconds later...

Student B (terribly excitedly and in total oblivion to what was just mentioned): To give the company breathing space!

* * *

Class participation should just be abolished.

The phone rang. I picked up.

Party on the other side (in a monotone): hup lo. Tot ton ajansee. GC GP 30 an hour. Youone?

I have had dealings with tuition agencies with bad English in the past. But this was really something.

I saw an article about Singapore Management University's (SMU) new board of advisors to their law school. They have former chief justice Yong Pung How.

Shortly after, my law school came up with a notice saying we have a new board of advisors too. And on our board, we have

"Justice Andrew Ang ‘71
(Current) Chief Justice Chan Sek Keong 61's representative"

I have noticed that HOH Law Corporation is everywhere. For the unacquainted, this is a law firm that provides "affordable legal services to the masses." They have offices where you least expect it, like near Desker Road, in Little India, which is a hangout for hookers. (Desker road, I mean, not little India, which is generally a really cultural neighbourhood).

Of course, I checked their rates, which were not as low as one would have imagined.

If no one wants to hire me after I graduate, I think I'll provide budget law services. By setting up a firm that:

• hires barely competent lawyers so we wont' have to pay them so much.
  
• Uses neighbourhood shops that close by 6 pm as office space and operates from 8pm to 12 midnight, so people don't need to travel down to town, don't need to take leave from work to see us, don't need to dress up to see us.
• handles standard work like non contentious divorce for a standard fee. Complex work will be farmed out to full service law firms at normal rates, with a 15% cut to us for bringing the business to them.
• pre -records standard legal advice on issues like divorce, downloadable in mp3 format so the lawyers won't have to give so much advice in person. Everyone has mp3 players right? Or else we'll have them in cassette form too, and charge a refundable deposit of 50 bucks for each rental.
• hires flyer distributors earning 4.50 per hour and pays them 4.55 per hour as reception personnel.
  
• does not have money to give lawyers a clothing allowance but allows lawyers to wear whatever shoddy gear they want, including flip flops.
• has excellent discount schemes. e.g. you want to get divorced, you bring a couple of people who also want to get divorced, the advice is directed at 5 people at a time, you pay half price.

This post comes courtesy of Charmaine, my classmate.

At 830 in the morning, she MSNs me saying she is very proud of coming up with a "GREAT DIRTY JOKE."

She: blah blah bah (telling the joke)

Me (in a very just out of bed state): Charmaine it's only 830 IN THE MORNING!

She: I came up with it while writing my essay plan last night.

We wonder what essay she was planning to write.

* * *

I originally posted the joke here but removed it because she says it's only funny when communicated verbally.

So please ask her when you see her in school.

In addition to giving law tuition, I give English tuition to this secondary 2 Hwa Chong Institution kid. I was trying to explain to him what metaphors were and the idea of underlying meaning.

Me: When I say "she is a table," what do I mean?

Him: She is flat.

Me: . . .

Me, continuing: No, that means she is as insignificant as a piece of furniture.

(For the record, I did tell him not to use that on girlfriends. Or anyone else for that matter)

I have been reading blogs instead of studying. Again.

Came across this law student's blog and an entry which said she met her boyfriend on Hi5, a kind of online social networking site. They seem to be doing very well, good for them.

And I recalled I have friends who found their soulmates on other sites like friendster, which to me is like a stamp collecting site where you collect pictures of people, and which I had not visited since people were still using pagers instead of handphones. Ok maybe not that long ago. But still, it's been a few years at least.

So I logged onto friendster, just to see how friends of long ago were doing, and if any of them had hooked up with other friendsterers. And I came across profiles of girls that were all pink and bubbly with lots of smiley faces and under the heading "who you want to meet," wrote things like

"probably some animals like birds, turtles, dogs, hammies, rabbits, and many more? if u belong to any of the species, ya. welcome. =x"

Not cool. A friend of the writer of the above statement left a reference, and it was:

"fishfish birdbird kuku ballball!"

I rest my case.

Yesterday went out with the brother to celebrate his A level results and did no work.

The sister asked me to fetch her from Jurong East because she had to go there and sell flags under the community service component of co- curricular activities, which is really the point of this post. Let's just say Jurong East is about one of the furthest places possible to travel to from home, but still be in Singapore. Make no mistake about it, I think charity is good, but I think forcing students to sell flags is just dumb, because

1. I've done it before, and most of the time the amount collected is rather insubstantial. (even though the tins might be heavy from people putting in coins.)

2. The time wasted, however, is disproportionately HUGE.

3. Irritation to passers by from having tin cans repeatedly shoved in their faces by school kids: HUGE.

Conclusion: Compulsory flag selling is not efficient. To revise the existing system, if it were up to me, I would suggest students contribute cash out of their own pocket. Like if you give up 50 bucks, you get 5 CCA points. You give up 100 bucks, you get 10 CCA points. Now that would be cool.

* * *
The sister organised some camp for underprivileged kids at some moral welfare home in September last year, and the social workers at the moral welfare home made her pay 100 bucks "in advance, to be repaid later." It's now March. Time to draft a letter to them.

I have a part time job that involves giving law tuition to this diploma in law student whom we shall call X. I'm 25. X is 29. X has a diploma in IT. He says he wanted to study law after a calling from God. Which is fine with me. He says he couldn't afford my fees, which is fine with me. I reduced them to the point it was negligibly profitable for me. What is not so fine however, is that he lacks a command of the English Language. I spent 30 min in the 2 hour lesson explaining to him when to add "s" to words because that indicates plural. And he didn't seem to get it.

To the essay question "Judicial precedent is not meant to be followed. It is only a guiding principle. Discuss." this was the sentence he wrote for me:

" Yes I agree. Judicial precedent case and fact judge decide future judge decide fact however it should not be followed."

Me: Wrong. We went through this last week already, remember?

Him: What's wrong?

* * *
His exam is in two months. I'm supposed to teach him Contract law, criminal law, public law, and common law reasoning and institutions.

A friend who heard what happened later said: "maybe you should ask him if his Chinese is good, then it could be a calling to study law in China."

With the vast improvement of blogger, I've decided to open a new blog. It seems everyone is locking their blogs nowadays. I think it's too troublesome. So happy reading everyone, though no guarantees of interesting (or regular) posts. Feel free to leave comments.